An interview with April Gaines Life Coach
What is the biggest obstacle you have had to overcome in your life?
My soul journey started out in the very beginning with having teenage parents who had their own wounds from childhood. Imagine two young emotionally wounded teenagers trying to raise little children while still struggling to find their own sense of worth and meaning in the world. This dynamic created the perfect set up for me to end up with my own struggles in my life.
For many years, I struggled with low self-esteem, a lack of worth and a need to be perfect. Always searching and seeking for a way to be better. To be good enough for myself and for others as I tried to quiet this constant nagging feeling that I actually was never going to be good enough.
At fifteen years old I was forced to get married to an abusive alcoholic for the next twelve years of my life. After many years of struggle and upon ending that abusive marriage my healing process started and my life changed forever. My soul healing began to transform my inner beliefs about myself, others, and my place in the world.
My life goal was now to heal my own soul in order to save my children from living the same fate as me. Broken, wounded with no self-esteem, sense of inner worth, happiness, or peace in my life.
As I developed my own sense of inner worth and self-esteem my soul was set free. I began to change my inner core beliefs to know that I had this innate worth that no one could take from me. To know that the opinion of others had no bearing on how much I was worth in life. That I did not need anyone else’s approval and that the only opinions that mattered were mine and my creators.
Since that time, I have built my permanent self-esteem base, know that I have innate worth, no longer need anyone else’s approval and know that I do not need to be perfect. My passion now is to help teach others how to develop these same skills. I teach others to let go of the past, to live in the present moment, to not take things personally, to have permanent self-esteem, to not care about the opinions of others, to have inner peace, to heal down to the soul level, and live a life with inner peace.
What are your three top tips to overcome the obstacle?
- The moment I decided that I had innate worth that no one could take from me is the moment I gained freedom. Freedom from being the world’s puppet. From having any buttons that could be pushed at any given moment. From judgment and the opinion of others. Freedom from trying to be good enough for myself or anyone else.
- The moment you release the need to seek, get or have another’s approval you become in charge of your own worth. You always were you, you just didn’t know it. We are taught that what our parents or caregivers say is the ultimate last word. That is because they are our parents that what they say and think about us is “truth” but it is not. Especially if they are wounded or broken themselves. Your worth is innate. You do not have to do anything to be worthy. Worth is not something bought, given, or passed out. You are worthy just because you are here and you are the one who gets to decide your true worth.
- The moment you realize that people act how they feel and that does not have anything to do with your worth – you are free. Realizing that how people act and what they say to you or anyone else in their life is because of what they have going on inside. It is due to how they feel inside and has nothing ever to do with our own personal worth. This is true regardless of who it is and knowing this will set you free to where you can start to forge and heal.
When you take these factors above and start to apply them to your life you will develop permanent self-esteem that no one can take from you. That you will be able to stand on regardless of what is going on in your life. Having this strong sense of self-worth and esteem along with learning to not take things personally will create a long-lasting sense of inner peace that you can carry with you throughout your life.