An interview with Kemetia Foley Life Coach
What is the biggest obstacle you have had to overcome in your life?
The biggest obstacle I’ve ever had to overcome was self-centred pity. My self-centred pity manifested itself as arrested development, addiction, and dishonesty. I didn’t want to be that person.
Suddenly, one day in the middle of a group counselling session the thought came and smacked me upside my head, ” Hey! You’re not the only person that has had something sad, bad, or terrible happen in their life!” With help from friends and the medical community, I began to address what had gone wrong. My perspective and path in life changed for the better.
What are your three top tips to overcome the obstacle?
- Get perspective.
Ask yourself, am I the only person that has had something terrible or something painful happen to them? Don’t diminish that feeling, but do recognize that our fellow humans may have also suffered tragic events. It helps to keep in mind the saying, ‘Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.’
- Write a daily gratitude list.
While this may sound like a trite, you may be surprised at its effectiveness. When one is grateful for the smallest of things, there’s an appreciation for them. And, you realize others may never have the joys or the opportunities you have.
- Ask yourself, who can I help today?
Who can I bring joy, warmth, or happiness to by a simple act? I find that when I am able to practice focused listening to another’s concerns, it can be one of the greatest gifts to that person.
Helping others gets us out of our own thoughts and concerns. We begin to not only shift our perspective but build empathy and reframe our daily intentions.
Be cautious though as to not veer into using helping others as a way of controlling them. [As the author Anne Lamott says, ” Helping is a happy way of controlling.” ~when helping is used in a manipulative fashion.]